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  • Writer's pictureChoice Recovery

Selfishness Will Keep You Unhappy

When selfish, we act with a singular intention that alienates the needs of everyone around us, but more importantly, the needs of our soul. This type of behavior breeds unhappiness because it causes us to lose respect, trust, and love for ourselves. Without these attributes in our lives, we create a void in our soul, a void that is ultimately filled with loneliness, anxiety, and unhappiness.

Unselfishness is indeed about acting with the feelings and wishes of another in mind. However, it goes beyond that; it is acting without an expectation or need to get something in return. When our actions are driven by the thought "what is in it for me," we will never find joy and satisfaction in who we are being. To tear down the walls of unhappiness, we must act based on the principles that define who we want to be. This way of being takes patience, commitment, and willingness, but it is the surest way to bring harmony back into our lives. The truth is, selfishness is not a natural behavior, and thus, it is something we can easily overcome if we choose. Questions to ask yourself to determine if you are selfish: Is my reason for acting based on the hope to get recognized or get something in return?

  • Before acting, do I consider how my actions may affect other people's feelings and intentions, or do my actions carry empathy and compassion for others?

  • Do I authentically listen to what others are saying?

  • Is everything I do a competition?

  • Do I continually make judgments about who is inferior or superior to me?

  • Do I use others in order to get what I want?

  • Do I do what is right or only what feels good?

Choose to act with others in mind. It will bring freedom to the soul and satisfaction to your life and recovery. FOR CONSIDERATION: While there are certainly times in recovery when we must be selfish to protect ourselves, these instances are rare and should never insert unhappiness into our lives. However, if we use "protecting ourselves" fraudulently in our recovery, unhappiness will come storming back. We must be honest about protecting ourselves versus using our recovery as a good excuse to get what we want or as an avenue to take the easy way out.


Telehealth IOP is available in the evenings at Choice Recovery. Our evidence-based programming and qualified therapist lead the telehealth outpatient groups. Participants in the telehealth IOP are welcome to attend in-person IOP as well if their schedule permits. If requested, individual therapy sessions can be performed via telehealth.

Choice Recovery accepts AHCCCS insurance as well as most private pay plans. Located in downtown Mesa, Choice Recovery is easy to access and is only a few blocks for light rail. Choice Recovery offers in-person IOP in the mornings, the evenings, and on Saturdays. The integrated program provides recovery support inside and outside of the facility so individuals can continue to build their foundation in recovery.

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