Let’s start with a few facts of life. You are not perfect, nor will you ever be. Any partner, co-work, doctor, service person, or anyone else you encounter in life is not perfect either. And, the world in which you live is not perfect. The result of this imperfection is that mistakes are made, frustration occurs, and life can seem unfair. The quicker you accept these realities, I mean genuinely accept these realities, the faster you learn how to make life easier.
Humans are designed to make mistakes. Through making mistakes, we learn. We learn how to become better people, more caring, more talented, and more valuable individuals. If mistakes were never made, life would be boring, nothing would be satisfying, and joy would be non-existent. In this so-called perfect world, our hearts may be beating, but our souls would be dead.
Studies show that in the workplace, workers make 10 to 30 mistakes per 100 opportunities. Thus, 10% to 30% of the time, you, your co-workers, or people you associate with are making a mistake. Using these facts and understanding how the human mind works, it is safe to assume that this average rate of error transfers to every aspect of our lives. That is, if you error 10% of the time at work, you will error 10% of the time when engaged in communication with a friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, parent, or child. Likewise, when actively involved with a hobby, buying groceries, playing video games, or anything else, you are going to make a mistake, on average, 10% to 30% of the time.
To make life easy, you must accept that this will never change. If you choose recovery, you will progress forward in life. You will learn new skills, learn to communicate better, improve at your favorite hobby/video game, and so much more. While this “getting better” does allow you to lower your error rate on previously confronted or known tasks/challenges, it does not reduce the error rate in total.
The reason is, with each personal breakthrough or advancement you experience in recovery, comes new challenges that you have never seen before. In working through these new hurdles, you will experience successes and failures (mistakes). As you face these new hurdles, your error rate will likely fall between 10% to 30%, the statistical average. This is natural and how life is supposed to be. It is one of the great aspects of life.
Taking this a step further, you must recognize that everyone you encounter in life is going through the same process. Whether at a restaurant, doctor’s office, or cheering on your favorite team, the individual(s) you are engaged with will probably make mistakes between 10% and 30% of the time. Just like you, these friends, associates, or strangers are not perfect, but they often are committed to being better people, which means they are in the learning process. They are pushing themselves to excel, which sometimes causes them to make a mistake at your expense.
When this occurs, it can be frustrating. However, these moments are really just opportunities for you to learn where you are at in your own recovery. When someone you are dealing with is learning i.e., they have made a mistake at your expense, do you conveniently forget that you are imperfect to? Do you hold everyone else to a higher standard? When a boss, customers, or partner makes a mistake that negatively affects you, do you become the all-knowing authority of perfection? Do you act with entitlement and superiority over others? Does it suddenly become okay to make personal judgments about an individual’s character and integrity, even though you know nothing about them? Do you allow frustration and anger to control your attitude and decision-making? Do you act like an addict again?
Hopefully, you act like someone in recovery, and you accept the outcome with character and understanding. You analyze the situation and begin to strategize how to solve the problem without raising your voice and making judgments. You don’t attack, blame, or become a victim, but act with integrity to get the situation back on track. Once the situation is repaired, hopefully, you use the incident as a learning experience so that when a similar one occurs, you are prepared and can mitigate damages. Hopefully you act like the person you strive to be.
It is a guarantee that you will make a mistake today. It is a guarantee that someone you are dealing with will make a mistake at your expense. It may be a big one or a small one, but it will happen. And guess what, it is a guarantee that the same will happen tomorrow, the following day, and every day of your life. It is your choice, are you going to accept this reality and make life easy, or not?
ABOUT CHOICE RECOVERY
Choice Recovery offers intensive outpatient, outpatient, and one-on-one counseling sessions to individuals suffering with alcohol and drug addiction. The Choice Program focuses on finding an individual's life purpose as well as those past events that cause one to find solace in using drugs and alcohol. Located in Mesa, Arizona, Choice Recovery is an integrated behavioral health facility licensed by the Arizona Department of Health Services. Choice Recovery accepts most private insurance and any AHCCCS insurance including Mercy Care, Care 1st, Arizona Complete Health, Arizona Health Choice, United Healthcare, and Banner University. If you have any questions about the Choice Recovery substance use disorder program, please call 480-527-0337 or email us at admin@choiceiop.com.